"HOLIDAY HOPE"

SHORT STORY: PART 2

PART 2

The next evening came quickly it seemed. She waited around in the grief center lobby for Ryan to arrive, but she could not find the 2 items he had mentioned he had lost the previous evening. I wonder where they got to? she questioned in her mind.

Ryan arrived at 10 minutes after 6—still in his work clothes. He had on his work boots, and he looked a little bit run down. He must have had a long day, she thought to herself. But she didn’t know anything about it, just that she needed to be compassionate and gentle with this man in what she said, even though she hoped to get out of there soon. The sad feelings she felt around this time of year in the last 4 years since she lost her mother were starting to seep in. She needed a good cry, but she needed it in solitude.

“Hi there Ryan!” she smiled with the brightest smile she could possibly plaster to her face. It was partially real, but mostly, she was being fake, and she felt sad that she had to be. It was what it was.

“Hi Abbie. How’s things?” he asked.

“Things are fine, but listen, I could not find your things that you mentioned you left behind. Are you sure you didn’t misplace them somewhere else?” she smiled flashing her teeth to him.

“Oh, those things. Don’t worry about it, I think they might be at home.” Ryan responded with a small smile of his own.

He seems shy, like he is hiding something, Abbie thought. She could read body language well. Her psychology degree and master’s in clinical bereavement counseling assured her of that trait. Why is he here? He doesn’t even seem surprised they are not here. Hmmmm… “Is there anything else I can help you with?” she said, fiddling with her hands. Damn, he is good looking. It’s a shame he is so sad.

“Actually, yes. And I don’t know if this goes against any rules you may have here at the center, but I was wondering if I could take you for a cup of coffee this evening?” Ryan asked.

Wait, what? “Sure!” Abbie blurted out. She was totally taken aback by not only his question, but by her sudden outburst and response. “Wait, sorry. Ryan, yes, we do have some rules, but not in this sense. We can have coffee together; I don’t see why not. Let me just grab my coat.”

“I just thought we could enjoy each other’s company this evening—or what not,” he said. “The holidays are always a little lonely, for anyone. And I wasn’t sure if you had anywhere else to be, so I thought I’d ask.” Ryan stated.

“Oh, well, wow.” Abbie said as she opened the door to the massive closet in the lobby of the center. She grabbed her maroon jacket out of the closet and shrugged her left arm into it. “How’d you really guess that about me? I guess my late evenings say it all,” Abbie laughed.

“I can read your body language too, in a way. You’re like me. I was already going through it when my friend died in the fire, I can see it in your eyes. The sadness. Am I right and if so, who did you lose, if I may ask?” Ryan said then.

“Oh, um… well, my mom passed away from breast cancer a few years back. It’s always tough around the holidays for me, and I guess I can relate to all of you. Empathize is more the word I should be saying. We all need an ear, and everyone is grieving something I have discovered. It’s those that talk about it that truly heal from their pain and sadness of our losses.” Abbie slowly says looking off to the white wall in the center lobby. It houses a Van Gogh painting that she loves. Almond Blossoms is the simple name of the painting, but she loves to look at it.

“I’m sorry to hear about your loss,” Ryan says. “It’s horrible to lose your mom. I know personally what that feels like. My mother passed away 10 years ago—cancer. It’s my dad though that really went through it. I guess with me, I just never got over the initial shock that seemed to stay with me. Even now, it feels unreal.”

“Oh wow, I didn’t know you had lost your mom too. You didn’t mention it when you spoke in group at all. I am glad you are focusing on your current grief, but it would probably be good for you, too, if you mentioned the loss of your mom. It might help others in the group too—you all can discuss. And share what you want of course, but it might help heal you.” Abbie says. Oh my god I am babbling to this poor man. I must stop. She thinks this then purses her lips together. She feels bad she is dumping this on him and somewhat sounds demanding of how he should fulfill what he needs. I sound like his mother—or his wife! Dear lord Abbie, stop!

“Yes, it’s just hard. It took a lot to get me to come to group at all, so I guess I am holding back some stuff in a way,” Ryan says and looks at her with those beautiful eyes of his. “You ready to go? I thought maybe that Coffee Corner Café down the street would be a good place to grab coffee.”

“Ah, the benefits of being in Lanstown,” she laughs. “Sure, sounds like a great spot. I’ll meet you there. I don’t want to leave my car here and have Maria, the center owner wondering why I am still here,” she smiles.

They both walk out the door to their cars and Ryan nods at her. She wonders what he is expecting from all this, probably just someone to talk to. She could use the talk as well. She realizes she needs to let things out too, probably more than she allows. Grace… she needs to allow herself some grace to be a human. Just because she is a counselor in this, that doesn’t mean she has to hide things from others. She should talk about the feelings she is experiencing. Who knows? Maybe she can heal some more too.

She always thinks she is over her mother’s passing, until this time of year comes around again. Give myself grace, to feel and to talk about the things I need to, she thinks. I can do that. I need to do that. Okay, I also need coffee. She laughs at this thought. It was 6:30PM but why not? At least he asked her for coffee. She doesn’t know why she finds this so much more endearing than if he had asked her for drinks, but she does and she is going with it. And at least it wasn’t to Starbucks, she had had too many bad dates there recently. It was time for a change of scenery.

The two arrive at the coffee shop and Ryan points to the table he grabbed since he arrived first. He mentions to Abbie that he’s got the coffees, if she can just hold onto the table. Abbie is surprised to see a small crowd of people in the shop. It IS after 6pm after all. Then she takes notice that the crowd is mostly made up of 20-year-olds and a few years beyond.

Ah, she thinks, they must have final exams.

She remembers those days at the end of the semester, pulling all-nighters and hearing her mother telling her not to stay up too late studying. “The books will always be there tomorrow. You have a good head on your shoulders honey, don’t worry about these tests so much.” Abbie pictures back to her mother saying this to her as she would be sprawled out with 4 textbooks surrounding her, studying late into the night, making sure she knew every word she needed to.

Her mother always had come into her room to basically be telling her “Lights out”, but in a nice way. She didn’t want her extending herself too much into her schoolwork and fretting about things her mother had the faith in her to explore and understand on her own.

“And here is your double shot espresso latte,” Ryan says to her coming over to the table and sitting down in one of the wooden chairs across from Abbie. Abbie took the booth side of the table to make things easier, and because she liked to sit and observe the crowd while she talked to whomever at these establishments. Always getting coffee, she thought to herself. I am always getting coffee. I must like it or something, she laughed internally. He smiled a handsome smile, but she could see the sadness behind it. She could totally empathize. She missed her mother something fierce this time of year. She was glad he felt he could talk to her though, maybe open up a little outside the books on what he is going through.

“So, how are you doing, Ryan?” Abbie asks, looking directly into those blue eyes of his. They were so steely right now, a little cold, frosted over almost. Probably from the air outside, and in here, and the emotional turmoil from within, she thought to herself.

“I am hanging in there,” Ryan replies with a weak smile. “I should probably just get to my point though instead of keeping you here all night.” He looks at her nervously and he smiles again. The smile hits the corner of his eyes, and she knows it isn’t fake. He is really genuine. “The firehouse is having a benefit for my friend who passed away. I was wondering if you would speak at it? Maybe some suggestions on what you do and how you help people manage their way through this time period whether the holiday season or not.”

“Wait, what? You want me to speak at a benefit? Because of the grief counseling?” She shrugs and smiles back at him. “Um, sure?” she isn’t exactly sure she wants to do this or what she wants to talk about, but she thinks either way it could be a good thing for others, as well as the Center.

“Yes, your words of encouragement and understanding last night helped me so much in just one session. I couldn’t help but imagine what it could do for other people.” He says and looks at his coffee. He blows on it. “Not to mention, your kindness and soft demeanor I picked up on. I just think you could help a lot of the people I know as well as my friend’s family.”

“Well, then yes, I would be happy to help. When is the benefit?”

“A week from yesterday. I know I know it’s coming up and not much time to prepare but we could really use someone like you.”

“I will do it. I am here for you all, and here to help. It is part of our oath and our code of ethics to help people like yourself, as well as people who are going through hard times. It is what we are here for.” And she wasn’t lying or overstating. She would truly be there for these people in grieving this loss at this time of year. As she saw it, Christmas time was a time of HOPE and JOY and to bring one another together no matter what it took. To be able to make people feel better about the things they might be feeling and grieving not just at this time of year, but all year long. She wanted to be a beacon of HOPE and help others. So, she would.

They continued to talk about random topics like the weather and things going on in the news and some music stuff, it wasn’t date like at all, and for that, Abbie was grateful surprisingly. Around 8pm they wrapped up their discussion when Ryan said he had to get home and get some rest. He was finally feeling able to catch up on the sleep he had been missing since the fire, and he was so grateful that Abbie would be there to help at the benefit.

Because that is what it is all about. Helping people and giving a sense of HOPE back into the community when it felt like all hope was lost and gone, she could help. And she would, she would. She just had to get home and get started working on her speech!